One of my oldest and dearest friends passed away earlier this week. His death has affected his and my family deeply.
Because of our closeness, I have been very involved in preparation for his funeral and in consoling the family about the loss. I apologize to you, my readers, but I am confident that you will understand that God directed my attention elsewhere this week. As a result, there will not be a formal post to Exploring Christianity until the 27th.
In lieu of one of my traditional posts, I offer here the text of a personal remembrance I penned about my friend. Out of courtesy to his family, I will not disclose his name.
However, my hope is that this brief memorandum may give you some spiritual relief in the event you grieve similarly for someone.
I’m sure that many of you know someone who could be described similarly as is my friend here. If you know someone who this reminds you of, please do not wait until it’s too late to let them know how special they are to you.
The text of my homage to my friend …
September 16, 0219
Today, we lost a true giant of a man. Our dear friend, a spiritual brother, neighbor, and Sunday School classmate passed away this morning.
Not large in stature, My Friend was huge in heart. He was a genuine war hero, a captain of industry, a faithful and loving father, a real friend, and a husband for other men to emulate.
The love of his life was Name (his wife). Together, they were a real “power couple.” Between them, I’m unsure that there was anyone in our area they didn’t know or hadn’t known. When they looked at each other, their eyes sparkled as though they’d just met. And their repartee was the stuff of legend. Smart, quick, and filled with humor, you could “feel” the bond that they had as they verbally jousted and know that theirs was a love for the ages.
Those of us in the Sunday School Class at our church were blessed to have them among us. It was a treat to see and hear them each Sunday, and our Class has been much diminished in the last several months since they’ve not been able to attend.
My Friend liked to cultivate the gruff, “I don’t care what anyone thinks,” persona of a real “He-man.” And, well, he did a pretty good job of that. He could be short or caustic in his comments and responses. He was a man of few words, allowing his silences to speak for him as much as his words did. And, he could be out-of-sorts.
However, anyone who knew him knew that gruffness was a big bluff! Underneath that taciturn exterior, he was one of the kindest, most considerate, compassionate, and caring individuals any of us will ever meet. He would walk through walls for his friends and family if that is what it took to help. He cared deeply about his family, his friends, and his country. Under his gruff exterior was a man that was universally liked and respected; a man that others sought to emulate.
My Friend came to Christ later in life. He had not been raised in a particularly religious environment, and spent much of his younger years “living the life.” But he had an innate sense of God, and a yearning for Him that was unmistakable. After he became a Christian, he took his religion seriously and strove always to be a better person today than he’d been the day before.
One of my favorite memories of My Friend occurred one day at church as I was teaching our Sunday School class. I don’t remember the details, but at some point during the lesson, I mentioned that we all need forgiveness for our sins. Without batting an eye, My Friend spoke up and said, “I don’t need forgiveness! I quit sinning a long time ago!”
And, I suspect that, in a sense, he was correct. I’ve known few men who lived as “Christian” a life as My Friend. Yes, he still occasionally needed God’s forgiveness. He had a temper and could say intemperate things. But He was well and truly “saved,” and really didn’t need to worry about “sinning” anymore.
My Friend didn’t much like getting older. He was a vigorous man well into his 80’s and was unused to the frailty that claimed him during the last few years of his life. But, he never complained, and I never heard a “poor me” from him. He was 87, had advancing Parkinson’s disease, and was becoming frailer as each day passed.
But he showed his true character as he dealt with these maladies.
He never gave up physically. He walked and drove until the day they put him in the hospital for the last time.
And he spent as much time as he could each day at his wife’s side encouraging her as she deals with her own health issues.
His mind was as sharp as it had ever been. He could out-think almost anyone I know, and wasn’t shy about telling them that he’d done so!
He never looked back because he was always looking forward (and upward). His life was a testament to those of us who were privileged to spend time with him. To us, he was a real blessing. And, that’s not something you can say about everyone.
I can hear him now. When his wife eventually joins him in Heaven, his first words will be, “Hello Dear, what took you so long?”
Rest in peace, my friend. You earned it.
The rest of us will be along shortly. Put a good word in to the Lord for us as we start to arrive.
God’s Blessings on You All.
Richard C.
September 20, 2019
