This is a story about my Mom and her friend, Vi. Both ladies have gone to their reward, but I believe their story has profound meaning for us so I’ve decided to share it with you.
The story is somewhat long, so I’ve broken it into two posts. This week’s installment is Part I. We’ll conclude with Part II next week. I hope this is as meaningful for you as it is for me.
Introduction.
I met Vi when I joined her and my Mom at dinner one evening at the retirement center where they were living. Mom had moved there about nine months before this incident occurred. During that visit, Vi told me an amazing story.
Vi’s Story.
Vi told me that she’d been living at the retirement center for approximately two years. She’d moved there after her husband passed away and after deciding that living with her children wasn’t a viable option. She decided to let someone else deal with the house and thought she might find some new friends and some company at her new residence.
The retirement center was very nice. The apartments there were spacious, the food was enjoyable, and the center provided a constant stream of entertainment and activity opportunities for its residents. Several dozen retirees occupied the center, and most of them were open and friendly. But, for Vi, something was missing.
Even after she’d acclimated to her new surroundings and made a point of participating in many of the center’s activities, Vi still felt a sense of profound loneliness. Her children talked to her almost daily and made a point to visit her regularly. But still, something was missing.
Vie was a life-long Christian She had always possessed a strong faith, and she regularly attended the church services held at the retirement center. Though the pastor who provided services was not of her preferred denomination, he “preached a good sermon” and didn’t say things with which she disagreed all that often. She continued to read her Bible and to pray regularly. But something was missing.
Gradually, she began to wonder if she’d made a mistake by moving into the retirement center. She hadn’t made many friends or acquaintances. She ate alone. To pass the time, Vi had adopted the habit of sitting in the center’s front foyer each day watching people come and go, but rarely having any meaningful interaction with any of them. Her sense of dislocation and detachment just would not go away.
One evening several months after she’d moved in, Vi decided to go to bed early. But, as she lay in her bed in the dark, she couldn’t sleep. Her unease with her life’s situation would not go away and although she was tired and sleepy, she tossed and turned for several hours without going to sleep. Vi was lying on her back with her right hand hanging over the side of the bed with her palm up. Then, Vi began to pray.
Vi’s Prayer.
“Dear God. I love You and know that You love me, but I’m not feeling much love tonight. I still miss my husband so, and I’m feeling very abandoned and forlorn. I feel so lonely and lost that I’m really not sure that I can go on. I need You, Lord. I need to know that You are there for me and that I can lean on You in this difficult time.” “Please, God,” she continued, “take my hand. I just need to feel Your touch to know that I’m really not alone.”
At that moment, in her dark, and quiet bedroom, Vi felt a strong hand take hold of her right hand. She was so startled that she “jumped” and let out a small cry of surprise.
“What’s the matter?” a strong and pleasant voice asked her. Knowing immediately Who the voice and the hand belonged to, she said, “I’m sorry, Lord. You startled me.” The voice continued, “But Vi, you said that you wanted Me to take your hand, and so I have. And I’ll never let go.” While God held her hand, Vi was able finally to go to sleep.
My Mom.
Mom had had a great life. When young, she was beautiful and popular. As such, she was frequently the center of attention for those around her.
She’d been married for over 50 years to a man with whom she shared one of the great romances of their time. Her two children had grown to be responsible adults with families of their own, and of whom she is justifiably proud. And, she’d enjoyed a vibrant career with regional and even national accolades.
Mom was also a person of faith. She attended church regularly and enjoyed a rich prayer life. She was instrumental in introducing her children toGod and then to the church. And all her life, she tried to steer people toward their own relationship with God.
Mom had enjoyed all the trappings of a successful and enviable lifestyle.
Mom’s Challenges.
But by the time Mom moved to the retirement center, she’d grown old. Only one of her siblings was still alive. Dad had passed away over four years before her move, and she missed him terribly. She could no longer drive and grieved for her loss of independence.
And Mom had contracted dementia. Although her condition was not completely debilitating, her lapses of memory had become dangerous and made it impossible for her to live unassisted. The decision to move her into the retirement center was not hers, and after her move, she entered a period of deep depression, which exacerbated her condition.
As a result of her depression, Mom quit eating regularly and began to neglect her appearance. She wouldn’t take her prescribed medication. She refused to take advantage of the activities and opportunities to make new friends provided by the retirement facility. She even refused to participate in the religious services provided by the residence.
Basically, Mom gave up. Her will to live was, well, just gone. She considered her life to be “over,” so why fight the inevitable? Why not just quietly waste away into oblivion rather than fight for or try to enjoy life? Her condition became so alarming that many who knew and loved her began to wonder if it not might be best for her to “just go on.”
But God had other plans for Mom.
We’ll conclude the story of these two women in next week’s blog.
God’s Blessings on You All.
Richard
October 4, 2019
