“Am I my brother’s keeper?” Genesis 4:9 / An Editorial

A Troubling Visit

Yesterday, I went to visit a friend who is living out his last days in a nursing home.  My friend is old and sick.  He is tired and confused.  The most disturbing thing about his condition, though, is that his mind is no longer functioning at an adult level.  Due to age and illness, his mental faculties have diminished until he cannot communicate effectively, is unable to distinguish between dreams and reality, or even remember persons who are (or have been) close to him.  My friend’s body is still “here,” but except for brief flashes of cogency, his mind is “gone.”

My friend was, when younger, someone to be envied.  He was physically attractive, gainfully employed, and enjoyed a great marriage.  He had raised responsible children, paid his taxes, and was generally the type of person we all aspire to be.  Of course, he had his faults.  No one is perfect.  But my friend was much closer to the ideal than most of us could ever hope to be.

And now, here he was, confined to a nursing bed, largely cut off from society, and, basically, just lying in bed waiting to die.  Friends and ex-neighbors do visit occasionally, and the staff at the facility is nice enough.  But, my friend’s life is basically “over,” and now what’s left for him is to pass into the Great Dark, which he will almost certainly do alone.

It’s not fair!

As I drove home, I reflected on my friend’s situation.  And like many people confronted with such a situation, I felt that my friend’s condition just wasn’t “fair.”  I mean, he’d done all the “right” things.  He’d “checked” all the “boxes.”  And yet, for some obscure reason, he’d still wound up in an indifferent facility, isolated from friends and family, after having lost much of his humanity.  It made me feel very sad.

What made my friends’ situation all the more poignant was that while there, I’d observed several other residents who were in much the same condition.  And the thought occurred to me that this same scenario was playing out innumerable times across our globe.  Thousands upon thousands of “good” people are ending their lives in much the same way as my friend.

A Theological Problem

For a “person of faith,” maintaining one’s belief in a benevolent and loving God in the face of such visceral human degradation can be a challenge.  I’ve spoken with several people who’ve said, “I just can’t believe in a God that would allow someone to end their days like this.”  Or, “If I do still believe, I surely don’t understand why God would allow any of His children to fall into such a state of anguish and despair.”

Seeing someone like my friend is, indeed, a sobering experience.  And, reconciling his condition and situation with the idea of a loving God who infinitely cares for each of His creations can be a theological problem for many of us.

Realizations

But as I reflected on my friend, I realized that it hadn’t been God who’d afflicted him.  Physical and mental deterioration are natural parts of life and should be expected, not met with surprise.  We all either are or will encounter at least some portion of my friend’s condition as we age.  Advances in medical science aside, at some point, we’re all going to age and eventually die.  And while it is true that a fortunate minority of us will avoid some of the issues my friend is dealing with, most of us are more likely to share at least some of his experience rather than not.

God brought us into existence on a beautiful and bountiful planet.  On that planet, He gave us everything we could possibly need to survive and thrive.  We have oxygen for our lungs.  We have water to quench our thirst.  And we have abundant sources of food from which to quell our hunger.  Building materials for shelter and minerals for fashioning tools to make our labor easier are readily available.  And He gave us minds that could recognize and make the most of the resources available to us.   God has provided for us in ways and at a magnitude that, literally, “boggles” the mind.

The Real Gift

But, most importantly, He gave us one another.  When Cain asks God, “…am I my brother’s keeper?” [Genesis 4:9]  God answers the question with Jesus.

Jesus didn’t come just to show us how we are to interact with God.  The most important part of His mission was to show how we are to behave toward one another.

From John 3:16, we learn how important we are to God.  “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

And in John 13:34, we learn from Jesus how we are to treat each other.  “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”  Jesus loved us enough to die a humiliating death on the cross for us.  He expects us to be willing to do the same for each other.

Understanding

So, when considered in the light of these realizations, it isn’t God’s “fault” that my friend is sick and lying alone as he slowly dies in that nursing home.  It is mine.  And yours.  And all of our faults across the globe.

It may be beyond our personal ability to cure the terminally ill.  We may not have the resources or time to “fix” everything that is “wrong” about another person’s situation.  But what we do have to offer is ourselves.  We can show compassion.  We can be there to provide support.  And we can give comfort when that’s all that is really being sought.

That’s what Jesus meant when He gave the commandment in John 13:34.  We are to love others as much as we do ourselves.  And, we are to act like it!

Joy

My friend visibly brightened as I entered his room yesterday.  The look on his face when he saw me was as though a ray of sunshine had burst through the window and alighted on him.  His gratitude for my presence was tangible.  And even if he didn’t know exactly who I was every moment that I was with him, my friend appreciated each moment that I was there.  He didn’t have to recognize me to be comforted.  All they needed for that, was me.

A Reminder

Yesterday was a powerful reminder to me of my responsibility to others.  When I saw my friend’s joy at my arrival, I received a glimpse of God.

I suggest that we all need these reminders from time to time.  And I encourage us all to go seek them out because they’re sitting in that nursing home just down the road.

God’s Blessings On You All.

Richard

November 1, 2019